Short & Sweet: A Mother’s Struggle With Potty Time

I’ve been told by so many mother’s and father’s that, “You’ll miss it when it’s gone,” when we are discussing the every day quirks, tantrums and shenanigans of a growing toddler.

“You’ll miss it when they don’t need you to rock them to bed.”

“You’ll miss it when they don’t want to eat everything off of your plate.”

“You’ll miss it when she doesn’t want to be held all the time.”

“You’ll miss it when she doesn’t want to use the bathroom with you…” 

For the most part, I am on board the missing train. I will absolutely miss all of those things and so much more when it comes to my baby girl. Hell, I already miss her being a baby, all chunky and big cheeked. I already miss so many things about our first few months with her, I don’t think that is a feeling a parent ever gets rid of. At each of her stages and milestones and with each passing month my husband and I have said, “I wish she would stay just like this. I don’t want her to grow anymore than she is right now.” Then the next stage comes and its even more exciting than the last. There’s literally a million and one things that I’ll miss and cherish about that crazy little girl. I’ll miss nursing her, picking out her clothes and reading her fifteen books non-stop. I’ll miss getting hugs and kisses for no reason and cuddling on the couch watching her stories. I’ll miss her asking for snacks, songs, juice, and the puppy. Putting her little hands together signing and saying the word, “more.” I could go on for days with an ever-growing list of everything that I will miss about my little chunker, as I’m sure most mothers could. However, the one thing I will absolutely not miss is having her and the dog in the bathroom with me. That is where I draw the bullshit line with a dark and permanent marker. It’s all fun and games until your trying to get your business done and your toddler and dog are staring at you for answers or waiting to be entertained.

Both my daughter and my dog follow me around the house, always at my feet wanting to share my lap, my food, and my attention. It is something that I have become accustomed to. It is adorable when she’s watching me get ready and wants to put on Mommy’s lotion, lip gloss and shoes, but when Mommy needs to take care of business, the business that should always be taken care of alone, it is just plain awkward and annoying. I can’t tell you how many books I’ve had to read to her while I’m trying to use the restroom. Or how many times I’ve had to stop her from going head first into the tub, while she’s saying, “Bath, Bath, Bath!” With or without baby proofed cabinets she finds a way to throw everything in the cabinets onto the floor and tries to climb in there to hide. One of her favorite bathroom pastimes is pulling the toilet paper off of the roll, and laughing as Mommy is struggling to get it from her. She always gets away with a piece or two in her hands and she tears it up into a million tiny pieces of toilet paper confetti for Mommy to pick up later. Her new thing is trying to put her feet into my pants, as they are down at my ankles, thats always fun. On the rare occasion I do get to use the restroom on my own I get the troops at the door trying to turn the knob, or paw their way in. Sticking small toys under the door or books, then saying “Uh-oh,” as if she lost it unintentionally. The dogs paws or her tiny little hands under the door trying to wave, all while she’s saying “Hello, hello!” Sometimes, she just stands outside the door knocking and saying, “Momma, Momma, Momma, Momma!” Over and over again. Sometimes she’ll say, “Boo!” The kid loves her some peek-a-boo.

I know it sounds absolutely hysterical and adorable, but can I just do what I have to do, on my own!? It could be totally worse, right? She could be screaming and crying until I’m done or tearing up the house while I’m in there. All she wants is to be near her Mommy, and one day she’ll understand how annoying it can be. I wonder what it is about me that makes them want to use the restroom with me? I don’t see anyone fighting to sit with Daddy while he’s doing his business. They must just get a kick out of invading on Mommy’s personal space and boundaries. Whose to say? At what age do they start to think it’s gross or weird? Anyone?

Sweet Baby Girl, 

I will miss, adore, and cherish every second of every day with you. You are the biggest and greatest joy in my life. When you look up at me and smile, you brighten up my world. When you hold onto my leg so tight and giggle with excitement, I am at my best and happiest. I will miss you needing me this much. I will miss the fact that you want to be by my side, follow me around and do everything I do. I will miss you being this wonderful, smart, spunky, giggly, excitable, and magical little girl, but I am looking forward to who you will become. When you don’t want to hold my hand anymore or need me to kiss your boo-boo’s away. I can’t wait to see how you find your own way through this crazy and beautiful life. Until then, can you do Mommy a favor? For all that is good and holy let me have one un-rushed, uninterrupted, undistracted poop! Please and thanks, I love you to pieces.

Your adoring mother, 

~Melvi