We are going to talk really quick about a real world problem I’m having, so brace yourselves. Amongst the typical every day issues that come with mommyhood like nursing, pumping, body issues, mental and emotional stability and maintaining the life of a small human I’ve accumulated about a million minute, but valid mommy problems. The current real world problem at hand is my lack of space in my own home. I know, I know… I told you to brace yourselves. Get all the eye rolls and teeth sucking out now before you continue reading.
There was a time, just five years ago where I lived in a magical land of limitless closet space, freedom to choose my meals and ever lasting peace and quiet. A world that I created with shabby chic decor, endless throw pillows and cat hair. A world I proudly and bitterly called my own. I lived alone in a two bedroom, two bath apartment with an over-sized garage. It was magnificent! Every inch of square footage was completely and carefully organized and decorated by yours truly. I didn’t have to consider anyone else’s choices, mess, property or personal space. I was Queen of the world; my world. It was spectacularly lonely at times, but if I wanted to walk around naked and eat an entire bag of Cape Cod chips and watch crap TV without judgement I could do so without being interrupted or beckoned. Those were the days, sigh… After several years of idiot boyfriends, cat lady antics and bad decisions the universe came to my aid and brought me my very own, Mr. Darcy. It was absolutely glorious, the day when destiny dragged his ass to Pennsylvania and said, “Here you go! Your very own lunatic to love, hold and cherish for all of your days. Proceed with caution and a mood stabilizer.”
My life is 100% better in every possible way since Mr. Darcy busted his way into my apartment and life with his boat sized sneakers, his relentless positivity and gangster rapping shenanigans. However, my personal space and closet space has been dwindling with every new season and year. Every living being in our home has its own space, except for Mommy. My dog and turtle have more square footage in our home than I do and I’m super jealous. Obviously, the toddler has her own room and has laid her claim to most of our living room with her giant legos, books and toddler snack shrapnel. Mr. Darcy has a beautiful office space with double doors, a fancy vintage styled desk and is stocked with a gentleman’s bar. Every other large and small space in our home is a shared space. Where does Mommy fit in all of this? Literally underneath all of the other living beings in the house. They are always fighting, shoving, crying and whining to get near, next to or on Mommy, and that is just my husband. (I kid, I kid)
I never really noticed that I didn’t have my own space that I could escape to that wasn’t mobile. My car happens to be my space. I’m in my car a lot for work and I soon realized that the only quiet or alone time I ever got was in my car, Pearl. I think in my car, I listen to my choice of music or comedy in my car, I even pumped in my car while I was still nursing. Although Pearl and I seem to have a growing and beautiful relationship it just isn’t enough. Once I decided to start writing again my husband realized very quickly that I needed my own room when he found me camped out in my daughters room, sitting on the glider, with my snacks, and beverages stacked on her night stand. I didn’t have any other place in our home where I could comfortably work on my writing, uninterrupted. So, as thoughtful as Mr. Darcy is he pitched the idea of turning our guest room into my very own creative space. I hesitated at first, thinking about what our guests would do and then I realized that we host guest maybe twice a year. Sorry Abuela and Abuelo, you’ll be fighting over your own space on the pull out couch.
I immediately jumped at the opportunity to create my very own space where I can write, scrapbook, read, take a nap or sit in silence if I want to. So, for the last few months I’ve been collecting things here and there and I’m almost done. I’ve already started using the space and I know that within a few weeks it will be complete with all my quirks and personal touches, geared to inspire creativity and peace. Its such a small issue to have, but its made such an impact on me. The fact that I have a place that I can retreat to and just take a breath has changed the dynamic of our home. Like I said, I know that this is such a real world problem, but I truly feel every Mommy out there deserves a space, a break, a breather, and sometimes just silence. Anything that will allow you to gain balance and stability in your already busy and hectic life. Whether you are taking a walk, unwinding with friends or taking a few minutes to read a book in your car alone; doing something for yourself can work wonders for a stressed and tired Momma. Do whatever you need to do to recharge your mental and emotional batteries so you don’t lose your mind and yourself in the process.
We were all once single, free, and responsible for no one but our selves and our personal space. Now, we rarely get a ten minute period of time where no one has touched us, spit up on us or groped us and it can get super overwhelming. I know that its difficult with school, work, chores, errands and Mommy-like responsibilities but I assure you its worth it. We shouldn’t have to wait until everyone is asleep to get a few minutes of peace. Make a space, call a friend, find some alone time, get a hobby and with that will come peace of mind. You’ll also find some of your lost patience and sanity along the way. Most importantly, don’t feel guilty for wanting some space or alone time! We all deserve it and need it every now and again.
So, here’s to all the mommies out there who are just one tantrum away from running away and joining the circus. You are amazing, you aren’t alone on this journey, and we got this!
I call dibs on the tattooed lady act.