Momming Alone: Magog Trip – Business As Usual

My week was already going straight to hell, and it was only a Tuesday. It was March 7, 2017 when my husband abandoned his family and flew to Magog, Canada at O’dark:30 in the morning. He calls it a business trip, I call it temporary spousal abandonment. He had left so early that morning, him kissing me good-bye seemed like a vague dream. However, as soon as my alarm went off a few hours later I knew that him leaving was no dream at all, but the beginning of a nightmarish week for this hot mess Momma. I was already exhausted, as my toddler had not been feeling her best the night before and had gotten up several times. I did my best to “spring” out of bed, but there was little to no pep in my step after a restless night. I got up and did my best to get through my morning routine before my little human woke up: wash vitals, brush teeth, get dressed, drag the dog downstairs, feed dog, get bags ready for daycare and work, etc. The morning seemed a little rushed but all was still going rather smoothly. Went back upstairs, woke my kid up and she was dragging ass in the cutest way possible. “It’s time to get up and get dressed sweetie. We have to go to school.” She’d roll over on her stomach and tried to ignore my existence. It was adorable, but I had no time to waste on any morning shenanigans, even cute ones. So, I grabbed her and threw her together all while she barely had her eyes open.

As we headed downstairs and I saw the clock on the microwave, I knew that I needed to kick it into high gear. My little munchkin finally woke up, as she was chasing the poor dog around the island in the kitchen, and I started making my breakfast shake. I had been drinking shakes in the morning and packing a decent lunch for myself for a few weeks now trying to get my mom bits under control. Even though I was running late I knew if I ran out the door without it I would end up going through a drive-thru mid-morning and eating something that would make me hate myself later. So protein powder, milk, banana, and ice were all thrown into a blender, poured into a cup, and then the shit hit the morning fan. Our blender is ridiculously sharp, in the owners manual it states to never hand wash the blender; add a pump of dish soap, hot water and then blend for a minute or two. After I reached maximum soapiness I rushed over to the sink to pull off the top and rinse the stupid thing out. In my haste, I fumbled with the blender to counter placement and dropped it, creating a cascading waterfall of hot and soapy water all over my countertop, cabinets, conveniently placed trash can and floor. Of course all the soapy mess attracted my two little chunkers as they came running over to play in it. With one hand I was wiping it up as fast as I could with a dish towel, and fending off a 75lb dog and a determined toddler with the other hand. It was a slippery and soapy mess and at that moment I should’ve known that my week without my husband was going to be one shit storm after another. I was feeling optimistic though and I got the kitchen cleaned up, scooped up my kid and hauled ass to daycare drop off so that I could start my work day.

Other than starving, due to my new and improved diet my work day was pretty normal. The blender mishap was already a distant memory of a silly Mommy fail, and I was off to pick up my spawn at daycare. As I peered into my daughter’s classroom I noticed that she was being held by her teacher, which is never a good sign for a parent at pickup. It usually means she was being fussy, not playing well with others or she was sick. “Please don’t be sick, please don’t be sick…” I quietly whispered to myself. My little stinker was sick, again… Why wouldn’t she be? Her, the dog or myself have only gotten sick every single time my husband has left for a busniess trip since October, why would’t she be sick now? I mean, it was just foolish for me to think any different at this point. Her teacher told me that she had woken up from her nap with her left eye almost closed shut with the amount of gunk that she had. She had wiped it the best she could, but it was swollen and very red. Her teacher assumed that she had pink eye, and was trying to keep her away from the other children. She then proceeded to tell me that she would need to be cleared by her pediatrician before returning to school tomorrow. “Awesome,” I thought to myself, but again this was becoming a new norm when I was Momming alone. Mommy trying to take care of everything all while working, all while one of the three living beings she’s in charge of is under the weather. Oy! My poor baby looked so pitiful, all she wanted was her Mommy and I guess that was a good thing because right now, I’m all she’s got. Her doctor of course, was not available in such short notice, so we had to see someone new. She was great with my little one, assured me that she didn’t have pink eye (Hallelujah!), but she did have an ear infection, and a fever that was being caused by a virus. That virus was also the reason why her eye was showing some yuckiness. Totally a medical term, look it up. Yuckiness, right next to thinger and slidy. Considering my kid was just on antibiotics two weeks prior for an ear infection and fever, when my husband abandoned us for a business trip to Belgium, she decided to give her a different antibiotic. We rushed out of there as fast as we could because our pharmacy was closing soon.

Everything was going smoothly, we got her medicine, rushed home and went through our nighttime routine without a hitch. As I was putting her in her crib my phone started buzzing, but by the time I made it out of her room I had missed the call. I didn’t know the number so I didn’t even think anything of it.  As I was finally getting into bed my phone started buzzing again, It was the doctor we had just seen. She had realized that she called in the wrong medication, and that she would call in the correct one first thing in the morning. Again, the only thought running through my head was, “Fucking awesome!” She assured me that the medicine I had already given her was okay. It was the same thing she had taken two weeks prior, but she said that I should go get her medicine first thing, and keep her home from school to make sure her fever breaks.

The next day my little sweetie woke up and she seemed more like herself, but still had a fever. We went and got the right meds, and rushed back home so she could have it with her breakfast. After we ate she was getting back to her normal self. She was reading her books, chasing the dog, and just having a good ol’ time. About an hour later I realized that I didn’t have enough diapers to make it through the day. Second Mommy fail of the week. No problem, she’s in a great mood, it’s beautiful outside, we’ll run to Target and get some, along with a few others things we needed. Everything was going great, we were singing and clapping our hands to the music when we were a few blocks away and my kid starts having a major coughing fit. I’m looking in my rearview mirror, checking in on her and it didn’t sound like she was getting enough air in between coughs. I immediately pulled over on a side street and the moment I put the car in park she started projectile vomiting. I ran out of the car and by the time I made it to her it looked like a crime scene. She looked so scared and as soon as she looked at my face she lost it. At that moment I didn’t even care about the vomit all over my car or the fact that she was crying, I was just glad that she was breathing. Then the smell hit my nose. The doctor said that the medicine is a little harsh on tiny bellies, and that feeding her some yogurt would help. That morning for breakfast we had strawberry yogurt, blueberries, cheerios, and her usual cup of milk. The smell of regurgitated yogurt and milk was enough to blow your hairline back, but I quickly got over it because I needed to get my baby in my arms to let her know she was okay. Since I was only making a “quick trip” to Target I didn’t have any extra clothes with me and since it was a gorgeous day out I didn’t even have on a scarf or a jacket to cover her up. Thankfully, she had on a light jacket, so her onesie underneath was clean. I threw her shoes, and all of her clothes into a recyclable grocery bag along with the millions of wipes it took to wipe her and the car seat down. It was a scene straight from a sitcom. Parked on a side street, holding a half naked baby in one arm, and trying to wipe up chunks on top of chunks of throw up from every crevice of my back seat and her carseat. It was unbelievable how much throw up had come out of that tiny human. I was just glad that she was no longer coughing or crying, she was holding onto Mommy tight while she watched me clean up her mess.

Since I didn’t have any spare clothes and I now had some vomit on my shirt and in my hair, we just got back in the car and headed home. I’d have to get us cleaned up and head back out to get some diapers from the local grocery store, I should’ve known better to get over zealous to make a trip to Target. After all the chaos, and trips back and forth to get medications, and diapers we finally were able to enjoy some of our afternoon and evening together. We read some books, watched Friends, and cuddled with the dog. The next day she woke up as good as new and was ready to get back to daycare. I spoke to my husband after dropping her off and he was glad that we were back to business as usual. The thing is when you’re a working mother, who plays the role of a single parent often when your husband is away there is nothing usual or business like about what goes on. We try to stick to our routines, schedules and alarms, but the truth is life laughs at your routines, and makes movies about your changed plans. Especially when your’e a parent. We ended up enjoying the rest of our temporary spousal abandonment time, but we were all pretty excited about Daddy getting home. It never matters how long he leaves for, as soon as she sees her Daddy walk through the door her eyes light up, she runs into his arms and I can rest easy knowing we’ll all be under one roof again. That is, until that SOB leaves us again for another “business trip.” and we all conveniently get the Lancaster County plague.