I have somehow been fortunate enough to be surrounded by such a wide variety of human beings over the years. Whether it be family members, friends or acquaintances, I’ve been blessed and touched by so many people. I’ve been taught, I’ve been disciplined, I’ve been taken care of, I’ve been broken, and I’ve been loved… You start to get molded and crafted into the perfect version of yourself at such a young age, and the people you surround yourself with play a huge role in shaping you, into you. My mother used to always say to me when I was a little girl, “You are who you hang out with.” I’ve always held on to that. Always being careful about the people who I’ve let into and out of my life. I look back on my thirty three years and I’m extremely humbled by the people that I’ve been able to love and grow with.
Growing up, I always felt like a floater. I didn’t have just one type of friend or a group that you could label me under. I was never pinned to one type of kid, because there were pieces of me scattered throughout all the groups of pre-adolescent kids in my town. I danced with the ballet kids, I made music with the Orchestra kids, I got dirty and my first fat lip and bruises with the soccer and softball girls. I tried to keep up with the academics, but that was a constant struggle for me. I was never and still would never consider myself a “smarty.” I hung out with the typical girls next door and I even had a small bout of hanging out with the “bad kids.” However, that was short lived, as I feared my mother’s wrath more than anything.
My family, like most, is also filled with a colorful selection of personalities and characters. From the doting, loving, and supportive individuals that helped me get through my first crush, puberty and my multiplication tables. To the deceiving, manipulative, narcissistic ones that unintentionally made me stronger and appropriately guarded. We are all so different in my family and yet still very connected. I feel as a family we work better in small groups. When we are all packed in one house, talking (screaming) all at once, all the alpha’s fighting for attention and the last word… It’s madness. I’m sure most people can relate when I say, our family get togethers are about two sarcastic jabs and one passive aggressive comment from turning into Ultimate Fighter ,the Suburbs Edition. However, I can say without a doubt, as crazy as my family is, we are always there for each other when it counts. Whether we come by air, by car or by sea… we show up for each other, always.
Consequently, if you mix that variety of kid mojo from my peers with my wonderfully inappropriate family you end up with, Me. A woman who fought her way through countless insecurities, broken hearts and insane irrationality and made it to her thirties with a manageable amount of cynicism, strength, anxiety, love, and just a scoatch of bat shit crazy. I reached this point in my life with a melting pot of characters and somehow they all still managed to agree on one thing – that I should write and share my stories. Whether they have loved me, mentored me, or tried to break me I thank them for helping me reach this point. I finally feel ready to share my ideas, my demons, and my love with you.
Welcome to Melvi Mondays.