I wonder if he’ll wear ties like Daddy, Or if she’ll wear bows like Mommy…
April 25, 2015
Sweet Precious Baby,
Here I am, standing in the bathroom of a hotel room, shaking. I’m staring at the fifth pregnancy test I’ve taken in the last few days and it, like the previous four state that I’m expecting. I’m expecting you…
It’s my third day here in the Queens city visiting your Auntie. We’ve been so exited about this visit so we could celebrate her birthday. We don’t get to spend that much time together since I moved away for work. So, we cherish the time we get with one another so much, it’s always exactly what we both need. We’ve been going to all the places we love to eat and doing all the things we love to do. I’ve even gotten to visit with your Abuela and Abuelo for a little while. It’s been a great trip so far, and it will be one that I will never forget. You see, about a week before my trip I started to feel really strange; dizzy, nauseas, extremely heavy. I’ve felt like a stuffed sausage in everything that I’ve tried to wear, even the things that are meant to stretch. The last few days I just kept thinking to myself, “I’m either pregnant or dying.” Now that I’m here staring at the fifth positive pregnancy test, all I feel besides complete nausea and discomfort is an absolute feeling of joy filling my heart.
Since arriving I have taken a test every morning and evening. I know it sounds crazy, I just didn’t want to leave any room for disappointment. I’ve waited for this moment my entire life and I wanted to be absolutely sure. Standing here, feeling what I can only imagine is “morning sickness,” and knowing that I’m going to be a Mommy… it seems I’ve finally been blessed with everything that I’ve ever wanted. Sweet baby boy or girl, I can’t promise you that I’m going to be perfect or that there won’t be days that you won’t like me very much. I can however, assure you there will not be a day that will go by where you don’t feel loved, valued, and appreciated. Throughout my life I feel like I’ve been pretty mediocre and average at everything, dabbling in all sorts of activities and hobbies, and not mastering any. However, being your Mommy, is what I was always meant to do. It’s going to be the thing I work hardest at, and give my absolute all to. When it comes to you, I can promise you that I will not be mediocre and I will refuse to be average at Motherhood.
I’m so fortunate that I’m here with your Auntie, and that we get to share this special moment together. As soon as I stepped out of the bathroom and she saw my face, she knew that I finally believed I was pregnant. We hugged and cried, and reminisced about how far we’ve come. It really is incredible all the things we have been through together, and this will be one of the memories I cherish most. I’m making her sleep with me tonight, even though your Daddy put us up in a two bedroom suite for the weekend. Oh, your Daddy… It’s going to be so hard keeping this from him until I get home, but this is definitely news that you want to share face to face. I think I’m going to spend the next few days trying to find a sweet way to share the news. You’ll soon find out your Mom will find any excuse to buy or make a gift for someone. We’ll see what I can come up with for this special occasion.
It seems like I’ve lived through a million forevers, and I can’t believe this day has finally come. I guess all I can say for now, is you’re in for a ride with us baby. You’re going to be surrounded with an appropriate amount of craziness and spoiled with so much love. You see, your dad and I have gone through several hardships these last few months, and fortunately it made us realize that life is way too short. We got excited and impatient, and planned our wedding in two months because we couldn’t wait to start our family. We didn’t think you’d come along so quickly after the wedding, but you seem to have the same amount of impatience as your daddy and I. Moving up our wedding has proved to be the best decision we have ever made. We are so lucky that you chose us to be your parents. I haven’t even felt you move, held your little fingers or kissed you goodnight and I already feel privileged to be able to call myself your Mommy. Impatience seems to run in the family, but please take your time. I want to cherish these next nine months with your Daddy. I can’t wait to go home and tell him the news, and I can’t wait until we all get to know each other.
We’ll be counting down the days, sweet baby,
P.S I decided to give your Dad a little gift box, filled with three baby onesies. One if you’re a boy and one if you’re a girl, and one that says “Awesome, like Dad.” Here’s what I wrote him:
“I wonder if he’ll wear ties like Daddy, Or if she’ll wear bows like Mommy.”
When I think of you, and us… my heart can’t help but smile. It’s all the little things that we do for one another and all the little moments we share that make up who we are as a couple. Our private jokes, and the way we hold hands on the couch while watching our stories. The fact that we can make chores, cooking and grocery shopping fun says so much about how blessed and happy we are, no matter the circumstance. Today, and for the rest of our days we will make an adventure of raising a family together. We will go through bumps and curves in the road called midnight feedings, teething, potty training and tantrums. The thing of it is, I’m not worried one bit. I have so much faith in our love, our friendship and mutual respect for one another. I know we will make every day special in our own unique way. I hope for a healthy, chunky, curly headed baby, but above all I hope they have your heart, integrity, generosity, and ability to make every situation a funny one. I can’t wait to tackle parenting with you. I love you so much.
Your wife, your best friend,
Your future baby Momma,