He Was The Father He Didn’t Have To Be
“Since he’s my stepdad, he’s technically not family; more like a hostage.”
~Debra Messing in The Wedding Date
When I was just eleven years old this big, burly, teddy bear of a man came crashing into my life. This man had won the heart of a single mother of two. At first I was pretty skeptical of this person who was taking up all of my mother’s time, and I fought the urge to like him with every fiber of my being. I didn’t want to like him, respect him or love him but he finally worked his way into my heart. Even after spending the majority of my childhood with this man it took me “growing up” to finally appreciate him for all that he is and all that he has done. Who knows what or who I would’ve become if it weren’t for the man who chose to stay. He stayed and played football with us in the street, always got the best movies to watch on Friday nights, and has an arsenal of Dad jokes and sarcastic comments to fill a room. There are so many big and small things that he has done for my brother and I that there aren’t enough words in the English language to express our love and gratitude for him being the Father he didn’t have to be to us. At some point in every woman’s life we are “programmed” to somehow find, date or marry someone who resembles our Father’s personality and I’m so lucky to have found someone who is like the man who raised me. Not the Father who helped bring me into this world, but the one who helped mold and create the woman I am today. The big, burly teddy bear of a man who was there for all of my school dances, awkward stages, successes and failures. The man who I was honored to have give me away on my wedding day. Stepdad – over the past twenty three years that you have been in my life you have gained all of my likes, earned all of my respect and will be stuck with all of my love for the rest of my days.
March, 13, 2015
I’m going to try and not make this too mushy and get straight to the point. Thank you for sticking it out with a crazy single mother and her two half-breed kids. I’m not sure what kind of person I’d be without you in my life. Thank you so much for staying and being a father when you didn’t have to. I love you so much.
Now, make sure I don’t fall down the aisle. These shoes are pretty high.
Your daughter on her wedding day.
Wow, reading this with tears in my eyes. Feeling every word you typed coming straight from your heart. Beautifully written, transparently expressed and so lovingly touching. Your very blessed to have burly teddy bear lol help raise and mold you. I was also raised my someone that chose to stay, sadly he’s no longer here but reading how you spoke of Ralph was truly rich and touching. Thank you for sharing. This was beautiful
Adeline, thank you so much for your kind words. I’m so glad that this touched you. It is the entire reason why I share my stories. ~Melvi